Released: February 2015
Length: 302 Pages
My Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
16 Year Old Aysel is plotting her own death, but is afraid she can’t do it alone. She finds a website called Suicide Partners and makes a suicide pact with Roman. But finding each other may just be what saves them.
TW: Mental health & suicide
I was so hesitant going into this book as I knew it was from the POV of someone who was actively planning their own suicide and obviously that’s not easy to read about. But I wanted to give it a go anyway because I kind of knew how it ended and wanted to see how they got from point A to point B.
This book is heavily about suicide and depression. Aysel’s life was turned upside down after her father commited a violent crime that rocked her town. Now people give her strange looks and even her own mother avoids her. She’s obviously going through a tough time and it’s causing her to feel very depressed and alone.
She seeks out a suicide partner and finds Roman, a teenage boy who has family issues of his own and, like Aysel, can’t bear it any longer. They set a date and this book is the days leading up to it.
The whole premise sounds like it lacks in hope but through the book you start to see a spark return in Aysel. Her heart clenches for her little brothers birthday, she starts enjoying physics assignments and she begins to have feelings for Roman. Whilst this is a book about suicide and depression, it’s also full of moments that makes life worth living.
This follows a teenager who is very depressed and it being only from her point of view you really become familiar with her and her thoughts. Again, this wasn’t an easy read and actually after 20 pages I put it down and didn’t have any intention of going back into it. But then I looked up the ending and was pleasantly surprised and curious, so I went back and I am glad I did.
I do think this book would have benefitted from maybe exploring some of the other characters POV’s as they just didn’t feel present enough. I’m afraid this is another one of those YA books that leaves you thinking, ‘well, where was her mum?’ They and their actions were left mysteries to me.
It’s obvious from the story and from the authors afternote that Jasmine really did her research on mental health as it is, to me, a very honest and accurate depiction of depression.
Would I Read Again? No
Would I Recommend? Yes, but be wary of the trigger warnings.